Anger is a human emotion that affects each and every one of us on a daily basis. Even if you do not personally have an anger management problem – it is likely that you know someone that does. We see anger manifests in various different ways in people, whether in the form of aggressiveness, swearing, or even passiveness. Anger is natural in many ways and is essential to our survival. However, if we allow the anger to take control of our actions, then we are only causing ourselves and others harm. It is crucial that you develop a method of handling your emotions and redirecting any negativity in a positive way to ensure that you keep the relationships you have and to foster a healthy body and mind.
Anger Crucial to Our Survival
Before getting into the hards of anger and the techniques that can be utilized to mitigate the emotion, it is important to stress that anger is a natural emotion that is critical to our survival. For example, if another human being violated you or a loved one, and you did not become angered, your chances of survival decrease exponentially at that point. The key is not to eliminate anger, but to become angry for the right reasons and react in a way that is conducive to a positive outcome.
We see anger all around us; we see drivers giving the finger to other drivers, customers complaining in line because the line is not moving fast enough, restaurant guests yelling at their server for an unrequested ingredient in their meal, etc. The common theme with all of these scenarios is that the situation the person finds themselves in is beyond their control. It is an absolute must, that you as a man, realize that there are many things in this world that are beyond your control, even though we desire that control. Once you come to this realization, it will become easier to let these trivial things roll off your back.
Harms of Anger: Personal and Interpersonal
But why is it so important to keep this emotion in check? Why not let it resonate freely? Anger is natural after all, is not it? The reason is because anger is harmful for many reasons, including a potential decrease in your physical and mental well being and the decline of quality relationships with other people. It has been proven in many studies that there is a very strong relationship between anger and high blood pressure. The problem with high blood pressure is that it "increases the workload of the heart and kidneys, increasing the risk of heart attack, heart failure, stroke and kidney disease." This is obviously very serious. Not only will anger be wrecking your health, but it will also drive people away from you as people do not want to be around a hot head, typically someone who is unapproachable. My dad said to me I do not know how many times that "You catch more bees with honey," and he's right. But what can you do to be in control of the anger, instead of being a slave to it?
Techniques to reduce anger:
* When you feel that someone has angered you, take deep breaths and remain calm.
* Remove yourself from the situation temporarily until you have complete mastery over your thoughts.
* Do not say anything. Refrain from saying a word or from doing anything because it will be irrational and
counterproductive to resolving the problem at hand; it will only worsen if you react rashly.
* Realize that not everything is under your control and that if something mundane is not going smoothly,
that it is not the end of the world. For example, if you are waiting in line and the line is moving slowly,
rather than getting upset, you can choose to use this time in whatever way you want. Why not spark
up a conversation with another customer in line? You could very well meet someone very interesting!
If the server gets your order wrong, give them a break, they are only human. If your child does
something wrong, know that you were there at one point.
* Work out. Working out releases endorphins, a chemical that acts as a natural pain killer and makes us
* Go for a walk to clear your mind.
* Talk to a friend to get a second perspective on the situation.
Now next time you are inclined to become angry and lose it completely, realize that it takes much more to control your anger and emotions than to let them loose. A wise man once said "The strong is not he who controls others with his strength, but he who controls himself in times of anger." A man who can keep his cool in rough situations is more attractive to women than someone who loses himself. Being in complete mastery of yourself shows women that you are confident and comfortable with yourself and not a subservient slave to your emotions.