How To Stop My Divorce: 3 Steps To Stopping Your Divorce
The best course of action to take sometimes isn’t clear until you’ve listed and considered your alternatives. The following paragraphs should help clue you in to what the experts think is significant.
I trust that what you’ve read so far has been informative. The following section should go a long way toward clearing up any uncertainty that may remain.
Divorces are at an all time high. At times it seems that it’s easier to get a divorce than to get married.
People get hurt in divorce. The parties are forever scarred. Children, if there are any, never get over the hurt. Knowing this, you may be wondering “How do I stop my divorce?”
There are three steps to stopping a divorce.
The first thing that you have to realize is that saying you’ve changed does not mean you really have changed. If you are the person who is at fault in the relationship, it’s not enough to give lip service to the idea of change.
If you have been having affairs, for example, it is going to take time for your partner to believe that you are no longer going back to your wandering ways. It is not sufficient to tell your partner that you’re not stepping out anymore. You will have to take concrete actions. As an example, you may need to allow your partner to “monitor” your activities by checking in with him or her on a frequent basis. If your job requires you to travel, you could have to look for a recent job that keeps you close to home.
Other things besides affairs can mess up a relationship. For example, if the wife’s spending habits are causing money problems which weaken the marriage, she may have to commit to cutting up the credit cards and living on a cash allowance. If the husband’s work habits keep him away from home too often, he may have to commit to being home by 6:30 every night no matter what. At the core of this step is what is the most important thing in your life? If it is your marriage, you will make the necessary changes. But don’t just give lip service to them. Actions speak louder than words.
The next step is to avoid using emotional blackmail if you want to learn how to stop your divorce. Recognize that love is NOT enough to save your marriage. Telling your partner, “but I love you” in the heat of an argument will not win you any points. When you say “I love you” at inappropriate times, your partner is forced to say “I love you, BUT…” this weakens the emotional tie that love has between you.
Make use of the powerful “I love you” message when your wounds are mended, not at the heat of an argument.
You can’t use logic or guilt to change your partner’s mind. Arguing like this will only involve a spiraling argument. If you feel you must win, then you will lose.
Finally, don’t think that you can win an argument. Some people like to use their greater logic or quarrelsome skills to “prove” they are right and their partner is wrong. This may work in a formally scored discussion, but in a marriage (which is scored on emotions not facts) it’s sure to fail. Instead of arguing, solve the problem. If your spouse brings up a fault in you, discuss achievable solutions rather than argue back.
Are you wondering how to “stop my divorce?” Start by following the “stop my divorce” advice I’ve laid out in this article.
That’s how things stand right now. Keep in mind that any subject can change over time, so be sure you keep up with the latest news.